To Be Human
by Alias III
Summary: MWPP. NO SLASH! Remus-centric, angst-ridden. I've tried to omit most MWPP cliches, but some do remain. Suggestions for a better title welcome. Rewritten to coincide w new canon.


Additional A/N: This is but chapter one again, rewritten to coincide with the new canon. The end now involves far less naval-staring. It's also much longer. Yay for long-winded authors who never actually write new chapters!

Also, the ages of Andromeda and her sisters is still being debated in my mind. I have my calculations, though they don't coincide w/ other people's. I say Andromeda was ten years older than MWPP/L/S because Tonks is about ten years older than Harry. I've gone back and forth on this issue with others, but I'll stick to that assumption for the time being.

A/N: This is a very angsty fic. I've thrown just about everything I could think of at Remus, so it basically comes down to the fact that his life sucks. The way I figure it, Remus could have had one of two outlooks on life, depending on his parents. If his parents were loving and understanding, then he'd be shy, but eager to make friends and so forth. If his parents weren't so loving, he'd be a bit cynical, very guarded, and quite pessimistic. I chose the latter because it makes for a more emotionally charged fic. I will, however, try to keep it from being put on *too* thickly. The fic will follow Remus through his first and second years, then show a few other scenes from future years. That is, assuming that I ever actually write the whole thing. Don't hold your breath.

Very little happens in this chapter. You may be asking, as my beta did, "Remus will do something other than stare at his naval, won't he?" The answer is yes, just not in this chapter. I took eighteen pages to explain the state of things to the reader so that I have to do less of that in later chapters. I also found that the long exposition worked quite well for setting the rather depressing mood, which will last for quite a while. 

As usual, I want to know about grammatical errors I missed, as well as details that don't coincide w/ canon. Style issues, ambiguity, plot issues, character problems. . . . I like good, long reviews. Nice things are also very welcome in reviews, of course. Also, as usual, I don't know when chapter two will be put up, as I'm quite unreliable. Well, enjoy.

~~*Chapter 1*~~

The train came to a halt, and the doors opened. People poured out around Remus as he struggled with his trunk. Most of the crowd hurried past with hardly a glance his way, but there were always a few who took a second, longer look. People came up from behind him without warning or crossed his path with long strides. A mother and four children walked chattering by while a man with a gym bag came out of nowhere, pushed past Remus, and disappeared into the sea of shoulders and torsos.

A moment later, the door shut behind Remus and the train started away, adding to the din of voices and footsteps and music. Remus pushed through the chaos, tugging his battered trunk behind him on the makeshift cart his brother had constructed the night before. He started up the corridor, remembering the map he'd studied.  Besides once two weeks prior, he hadn't been in a crowd in years. Two weeks ago, he'd had Romulus's assurances that no one knew, that no one could know. But that hadn't prevented some of the double takes, or the longer stares. People knew something about Remus was strange. They could sense it, the creature writhing inside of him. Romulus told him he imagined all of it, but as Remus avoided the gazes of the Muggles surging around him, he knew his brother just wanted to lay his fears to rest. Romulus tried to do that a lot. This morning, the lie had been that their mother hadn't been drinking the night before, even though Remus had heard her during his waking hours worrying over the following morning.

At least Rom had trusted his little brother to get himself to Ollivander's and then to King's Cross. The trip to Ollivander's had been postponed two weeks ago when the extra healing potion Rom had insisted on had taken up what money Remus's books, gloves, basic potions ingredients, cauldron, scale, and cloak had not. With payday, though, Romulus had sent Remus to Diagon Alley before the older sibling went to work to make up for the day he'd missed four days prior, after the full moon. He had to admit that he was grateful that Romulus had insisted on the more potent healing potion, but Remus knew the tight budget was his fault, just like the three times they'd been chased out of their houses by villagers. It was Remus's fault that their father had left, and that they were so far in debt, and that Rom had to work so hard to support his little brother and his mother, whose drinking problem was also because of Remus, because of what he was. 

He came to an escalator and climbed on, keeping a firm hold on his trunk, which weighed nearly as much as he did. The robes, two of the books, the hat, rucksack, and the trunk itself were all Romulus's from his days at Hogwarts. The tarnished initials on the trunk were only off by one letter. They said "RLL" instead of "RJL." 

"Just tell everyone they messed up," Rom had suggested, grinning. "They turned your J backwards."

Not mentioning his middle name seemed like a far more viable option to Remus, but he didn't say this. Rom liked pretending things were better than they truly were.

Remus and his trunk dismounted the escalator and, after a moment's pause to reorient, they set off again.

Unfamiliar scents from the shops and fast food stands filled the air. This part of the station reminded him of Diagon Alley, except for the smells of chemical disinfectants and coffee. Already, Remus longed for the smells of the wood around his little cottage of a house. He longed for the sound of the wind in the trees. Most of all, though, he longed for tranquility. King's Cross offered nothing of the sort.

Reaching into a pocket of his oversized coat, Remus touched the parchment residing there. The letter had already become more creased and worn than he'd wanted. He'd read it so many times and kept it at his bedside the last month. He recited the words to himself when his mother became difficult. He chanted them before his transformation. He prayed that there were no strings attached, and that there hadn't been some sort of mistake or cruel prank involved. This was all he wanted.

The pillar between platforms nine and ten came into sight. He pushed on toward it, dragging his trunk into the station. After one more look at his ticket, he stood before the barrier. Romulus had told him precisely how to get through. This was it. A few meters ahead of him lay the point of no return.

He paused, caught between continuing and fleeing. He bit his lower lip, and his breaths came suddenly more quickly, trying to keep pace with his heartbeat. Once he got onto that train, there would be no turning back. Once it started on its way, his destination was locked in stone. This was his last chance to put an end to this nonsense. He knew it couldn't work. He knew Dumbledore had to be a fool or a sadist, no matter what Romulus said. Why had Remus even entertained the notion? He knew what he was, what sort of creature he was. A freak. A monster.

He turned, gazing back the way he'd come and ignoring the people around him. He knew what lay back that way. He could see his life back that way. He heard his mother's snicker at his weakness, and saw Professor Dippet's smug smile that Remus hadn't succeeded, even after the old Headmaster's watch. 

The familiar comfort of his bedroom called to him. The stacks of books he'd had to leave behind beckoned that he returned, told him that they would never judge him as everyone else had. His bed reminded him that no matter what his pain, or what his fear, he would always be warm beneath its blankets and find solace on its mattress. He knew that his door could always be locked against the world, and that the world had never encroached on the broken down house. No matter what anyone said, he could shut them all out, shut himself away, ignore the pain. When things got too much, he could sneak out the window and into the woods, so long as he was back in the house before Romulus started to worry. Maybe it was just him, or maybe it was the wolf's blood which coursed through his veins, but he felt most comfortable outside, with no one to bother him. Away from the house and completely alone, he could forget the world he didn't belong to. He could forget the shame and the pain. Those things he could cope with. The train station held a new set of fears that he could predict as well as an earthquake. 

And what of the solemn days he'd gazed out of a window, wishing to be anywhere but at home? What of the weeks when his books gave him no comfort? When the quiet of the wood grated on his ears and reminded the wolf in him that he had no pack? When all he wanted was a friend to send him a letter? He'd spent his birthdays wishing for more than the card and small present Romulus gave him, even if it was just someone who came over for a piece of cake.

But why should he torture himself? He'd never have friends. Once they found out, they'd desert him, leave him in more pain than he had known before. He knew that, even though Romulus tried to tell him otherwise. 

Regardless, he had to go. The happiest he remembered seeing his mother had been the momentous morning in July when she discovered Remus would be leaving for ten months. Maybe she'd be able to pull herself together in his absence. Even Romulus had admitted that she'd been better two year prior when Remus hadn't been around. Besides, despite the cost of school supplies, it'd be cheaper for Romulus. They'd been assured that the school nurse would take care of Remus's wounds after the full moon at no extra cost. That'd mean only two transformations spent at home per year, which meant one sixth of the healing potions. And after school? Remus would be a self-sufficient wizard. He wouldn't have to depend on his brother anymore.

Would the professors treat him differently, though? Did they all agree with the decision to allow something like _him_ into the school? Did they all even know? What if they made it impossible for him to pass? This could all be some joke, or just a set up for failure. Professor Dumbledore had called this a precedent. Remus translated that into experiment. The question was whether the results of that experiment weren't already determined.

And how would Rom take Remus's flight? Remus's insides twisted as he pictured the shame in his brother's eyes, and heard the disappointment in his voice. Remus wouldn't be able to bear that. He had to go.

He _would go._

"Hey, you, with the trunk."

Remus jumped and turned, peering up at a brown-haired boy, who smiled. "So you can hear after all. First year?"

Remus took a moment to catch up and figure out why this boy, who was older and twice his size in width, was talking to him. He at least had the sense to nod dumbly.

The boy held out a meaty hand. "Frank."

Remus reached up to shake. "Remus."

"He speaks, too! Can't get onto the platform?"

Before Remus could answer that, indeed, he could, Frank had turned him toward the barrier and started giving directions. Then Frank started pushing Remus and his trunk forward. The next thing he knew, Remus stood amidst what seemed like a thousand students, parents, siblings, cats, and owls.

"Well, that wasn't so hard," said Frank, appearing beside Remus. "And there she is." He gestured toward the scarlet steam engine, standing just as beautiful as Romulus had described. "The _Hogwarts Express_." Frank gave Remus a once-over. "Muggle?"

"No. Most of my family's wizard."

"Parents?"

"They're. . .working."

Frank nodded, though he kept looking at Remus as though he didn't believe that.

_He already feels it, Remus thought. Frank already knew Remus wasn't normal._

"Well," said Frank, "you just--"

"Frank! There you are!" called an old, plump woman with her gray hair up in a bun and one hand on her hip.

"Yes, Nana, I'm coming."

Remus took the opportunity to slip away into the crowd. He wound a path between trunks and hugging families. The latter he ignored and instead made his way to the train. Picking a car at random, Remus tried to haul his trunk onto it, but found the task more difficult than he'd expected. 

He heard someone coming toward him from the train, but had hardly registered their presence when he was pushed down, falling painfully onto his trunk.

"Out of my way, Muggle," said a pale, blond boy as he stepped down from the train.

Remus nearly snarled an insult and a threat in reply, but it all died in his throat as he saw the size of the two boys who followed the first, so he settled for a glare. Once they'd gone, though, he groaned and held his middle, which had struck the edge of his trunk, and which was still tender from the transformation.

"Need a hand?"

Remus looked up at a boy his age with black, unruly hair and thick-rimmed glasses. The boy extended a hand and pulled him up, then turned to three wizards in spotless, black robes and white gloves.

"John, would you get his trunk?" asked the boy.

One of the black-clad men gave a stiff nod and did as he was bade. When he'd finished putting Remus's trunk onto the train, he looked in disdain at the gray palms of his formerly white gloves, but said nothing.

"That was Lucius Malfoy, by the way," said the boy with the glasses. "He's five years older than me and a real brat. Even my mum doesn't like him, and she likes everybody."

Remus just nodded mutely, feeling that he exhibited all the intelligence of a grapefruit.

"Oh, I'm James Potter, by the way." He extended a hand, which Remus shook.

"Remus Lupin."

"Are you a first year, too?"

"Yeah."

"Jim! Where have you been? Your mother and I have been very worried," said a man who looked like an older version of James as he strode up.

"John was here the whole time. Nothing could have happened," answered James.

"And thank God for that!" said a woman Remus took to be James's mother. "There's no telling what kind of trouble you could have gotten yourself into! Oh, hello, there, dear."

It took Remus a moment to realize she was addressing him. "Hello, er, Mrs. Potter."

"Made a new friend already, have you?" asked Mr. Potter.

"This is Remus Lupin. Lucius Malfoy and his two cronies pushed him down while he was trying to get his trunk onto the train."

Mrs. Potter frowned at this, but didn't say anything. 

Mr. Potter looked indecisive for a moment before smiling and reaching out a hand to Remus. "It's very nice to meet you, Remus. Are you a first year, as well?"

Remus nodded, starting to feel overwhelmed. Why couldn't he just have gotten his trunk onto the train and found an empty compartment? "Y-yes, Mr. Potter, I am."

"Splendid!" said Mrs. Potter, clapping her hands together. "You can keep James company on the ride. Unless you had someone else you were going to sit with? A brother or a sister?"

He wondered if it'd be considered lying if he said yes because he wanted to be alone. "No, Mrs. Potter."

"Go on and find a compartment, then, and we'll put all of your things in order."

"All right, Mum. C'mon, Remus."

Remus followed James Potter onto the train and grabbed his trunk, despite the other boy's reassurances that John would take care of it. They found an empty compartment, and Potter helped Remus stow his trunk. Then Potter hung his head out the window and called to his parents. A few moments later, the three wizards in black robes and white gloves came into the compartment. Two carried a large and expensive-looking trunk between them while the third, the one Potter called John, carried a gold-colored cage with a barn owl asleep inside. The first two stowed the trunk before nodding to Potter and leaving. John set the cage on a seat and looked at Potter.

"Have a good term, Master James." John glanced briefly at Remus before adding more quietly, "And do remember what I told you about nighttime excursions."

Potter grinned. "I remember every word! See you next summer."

"You're not coming home for Christmas?"

"Ten galleons says Dad will have a business trip, and Mum will want to visit Aunt Patsy."

John nodded his understanding. "It _would_ be most unfortunate for you to have to spend the holidays with your Aunt Patsy."

"She still hasn't forgiven me for that jam incident."

"Best that you stay clear of her for a bit, then."

Potter nodded. "Exactly!"

"Then I'll see you next summer, Master James." John extended a gloved hand, which Potter shook.

"Bye!"

John nodded once to Remus before taking his leave of the compartment.

Potter went to the window to hang his head out and talk to his parents, so Remus pulled out his Transfiguration book and started reading. He'd already read through most of Romulus's textbooks before his acceptance to Hogwarts, thinking he'd never have a chance to attend school. After the old Headmaster, Professor Dippet, had confirmed this suspicion, telling Romulus that Hogwarts had "standards" and didn't allow "such creatures" on the school grounds directly over Remus's head, teaching himself had seemed to be the only option. Of course, he'd known he'd never actually be allowed a wand as an untrained wizard, but he thought he could at least master potions, herbology, astronomy, runes, and arithmancy. Having an understanding of the wand-based magic just made him feel a bit more wizardish and a bit less inadequate.

Upon his acceptance to Hogwarts nearly two months prior, he'd spent most of his time pouring over Romulus's old books, and worked to memorize everything in his own set. Even though his books were used and most of his school things were Romulus's, the cost of what did need to be bought, such as his wand, ten and a have inches cedar and unicorn hair, had put a stop to the books Remus's big brother usually supplied. Romulus still brought a few home from a Muggle used bookshop, but not nearly as many as were usually needed to sate Remus's literary appetite. But Remus didn't complain. He knew money was tight. Besides that, the euphoria of finding out he was going to _Hogwarts left him in far too good a mood to even really notice._

Remus's hand went to his jacket pocket again to reassure himself that the parchment still sat in it, but still didn't pull it out. He felt pretty sure that Potter would find it odd that Remus had brought his Hogwarts letter with him and kept it in his jacket pocket. Besides, the postscript about his "condition" would bring unwanted questions, should Potter happen to read it.

A loud thud caught his attention, and Remus looked up at Potter, who had just closed the window. A moment later, the train started moving, but neither boy said anything. Potter sat watching the train station slip away from view. Remus had just returned his attention to a particularly confusing chapter when the other boy spoke.

"You look like you're doing all right on your own. You don't mind if I take off, do you?"

Remus looked up and shook his head.

"Oh, good. I kinda' thought you came in and sat with me just to make my mum and dad happy."

Remus shrugged noncommittally.

Potter grinned. "Yeah, I figured. Well, thanks. Saved them tracking down my cousin, who would make me sit in her compartment the _whole_ way and wouldn't let me do or say anything at all. She's a sixth year and a real pain in the arse."

Remus managed a small smile, but couldn't think of anything to say, besides a muttered, "You're welcome."

"Well, I'm going to head out, track some people down, if you don't mind being left alone."

"No, I really don't."

James stood to leave, but paused at the door and turned back to Remus. "Unless you want to come with me? You're more than welcome."

For a moment, Remus didn't know what to say. He was being _invited_ someplace by one of his peers? And not because of some parent prodding him in the back, telling him to invite the poor little waif that looked so lonely and forlorn. At least, that was what the parents did until they found out, until they discovered just what he was. Then they had their silver melted into knives and came after him in lynch mobs to include him in their fun and games.

"Remus?" Potter raised his eyebrows quizzically. 

"Oh, er, no. No thank you. I just want to read."

"Okay. Oh, and if Pluto wakes," Potter nodded toward his owl, "would you mind giving him one of these?" He pulled a few treats from his pocket.

"Um, sure." Remus reached out and took the treats.

"Thanks. Bye."

"Bye."

Potter finally left, and Remus sighed in relief. Alone was good. Alone meant not having to endure pitying stares or angry glares. It meant that his mother wasn't drunk enough to want to bother him, or was too drunk to want him to do anything for her. Solitude had once seemed so bleak to him, so _boring, but he'd gradually learned its merits. He'd learned that socializing cost too high a price. But alone, he could spend time with the only people who didn't even notice his freakish nature. He could get lost in the world of the authors and characters of his books, and just tune everything else out, just pretend the real world didn't exist, and then he didn't hurt. He could pretend he was normal, and that the next transformation wouldn't come, that the wolf and the moon wouldn't win and leave him a bloodied heap after the battle._

As he read, though, the previous night's lack of sleep caught up with him, and his eyes fell closed without permission. The motion of the train lulled him into the nonsensical world of dreams.

***

Remus woke to a sharp _crack_ and found the compartment full of people. A black-haired boy of about twelve or thirteen stood with his back to Remus and his wand drawn. Opposite and facing that boy stood four people, all of them much older. Remus recognized Malfoy and his two cronies. On Malfoy's arm hung a blonde girl with a pinched face, as though the boy she glared at had something particularly disgusting attached to his forehead.

"Get out," growled the boy with his back to Remus.

"Now, now, Sirius, darling, is that any way to talk to your favorite cousin?" The dripping sweet of the girl's voice turned Remus's stomach. "After I promised your dear mummy that I'd look after her little boy this year?"

"And I think we're just in time," Malfoy said. "Given your cousin's already. . .wayward habits, I don't think he needs to be associating with. . ._that_." Malfoy cast a look of disdain on Remus, as though he were a foul-smelling sack of rubbish someone had left in the compartment.

Remus sat up straighter, glaring at Malfoy. He felt the wolf stir. It was quieter so soon after the full moon, but he felt its savagery. A little satisfaction crept in when Malfoy looked disquieted by the silent glare of the small first year. 

The girl stared at her cousin with a theatrical concern written into her features. "Really, Sirius, I'm worried about you. I don't see why you're so determined to run away from me. I just wanted to introduce you to some nice, young witches and wizards with. . .honorable backgrounds."

"What do you know about honorable backgrounds?" the black-haired boy—Sirius—demanded. "What, you want me to find a couple of brainless oafs to watch my back?" He nodded at Malfoy. "I finish my own fights, thanks."

"Temper, temper," the girl warned, her voice losing some of its sickening sweetness and turning to vinegar. "You always were a disagreeable, little pain in the arse. If you weren't the eldest son and heir, your parents would have left you at a Muggle orphanage years ago."

"My parents don't get rid of their own children like yours do."

"You'll go the same way she did if you keep associating with Mudbloods." The girl answered, looking again at Remus, who stood.

The idea of taking out his wand didn't occur to him, as he'd worked so long under the belief that he'd never be allowed one on which to rely.

"I am _not_ Muggleborn," Remus explained.

The girl's eyebrows raised. "Ah. More's the pity. At least then you would have had an excuse to be a disgrace to the name wizard."

"Surely there are better places for you to get your clothes than from a Muggle rubbish bin," the Malfoy added.

"Sod off, Narcissa," said the black-haired boy.

Remus held a steady glare on the girl, Narcissa, she'd been called, watching the smirk drain slowly away. She shifted uncomfortably where she stood, her normal pallor turning whiter still. Another moment, and Narcissa looked away, straightening herself and regaining her sneer. Even as she managed that, though, her eyes darted once more to Remus, looking far less sure of themselves.

"Your pure blood and riches obviously haven't got you very far," Remus said. "You have all the manners of a Muggle street thief."

Narcissa's eyes flashed, and she started to reach for her wand, but a familiar voice spoke from the corridor.

"What's going on in here?" James Potter elbowed his way in, looking disgusted at seeing Malfoy. "Oh, you. I should have known," Potter said with offhand disgust. He flicked a glance at the other black-haired boy, then addressed Malfoy and Narcissa, looking significantly toward the two hulking students standing guard and the blond boy's back. "Surely even you don't need so much help against one first year?"

"Don't meddle in this, Potter. You don't want to arrive at Hogwarts on a stretcher," Malfoy drawled, suddenly looking bored. His two cronies snickered.

Potter drew his wand, but Remus thought he looked a little less than confident. If he felt any fear, though, his voice didn't betray it. "Get out of my compartment."

The four older students just laughed.

Narcissa turned her glare to the as yet unnamed boy. "Well, at least you've found a decent wizard, even if it is a Potter."

"And just what do you mean by that, Black?" Potter demanded.

But yet another voice cut off further comment.

"Excuse me, there. If you'd let me pass, thank you." Frank Longbottom pushed his way into the cramped compartment, the pleasant smile he wore oblivious to the tension between the seven students. Both Potter and the other boy stashed their wands in one, simultaneous motion. "Ah, Lucius Malfoy, what a nice surprise. And Narcissa Black, lovely as always. I missed you both at the Prefect's meeting." He glanced at Malfoy's bodyguards, inattentive to the glares leveled at him from the two blondes. "Crabbe, Goyle," he continued with a smile, though his eyes didn't settle on either specifically as he said each name. "I trust you had a good summer?"

"Is there some reason you're interrupting us, Longbottom?" Malfoy asked coldly.

"Just patrolling the corridors. I'm sure the both of you have already done your rounds? Anyway, I saw all the people in here and thought I'd have a look. But, of course, if there were a problem in here, you and Narcissa would have taken care of it already, so I suppose I didn't need to worry."

"Which means you can go along your way," said Malfoy.

"I was just stopping to talk to my dear, little cousin," said Narcissa Black.

Longbottom raised his eyebrows in surprise and turned to look at the yet unnamed boy, still smiling. "Another Black at Hogwarts? Splendid! Tell me, have you heard from Andromeda? I was only in second year when she graduated, but she used to help me with Potions. I'm quite dreadful at the subject, you know. I heard she got married a few years ago, is that true?"

Both Blacks stared at Longbottom as though he were a fruit molded beyond recognition at the bottom of the bowl. Narcissa Black looked more furious, though, whereas her cousin just looked incredulous.

"And what's your name, by the way?" Longbottom continued, oblivious.

"Sirius," the boy answered uncertainly.

"Pleased to meet you!" Longbottom put out a hand, which the younger Black just looked at, as though unsure if he should touch it or not. Longbottom didn't look like he noticed.

"If you're quite finished—" Malfoy started to say, but Longbottom didn't seem to hear him.

"And you are?" Longbottom asked of Potter.

"James Potter," he answered in much the same way the younger Black had, looking Longbottom over as though trying to assess his sanity.

"A Potter! I should have guessed. A long tradition of Gryffindors there. That's my house, you know. I hope to see you there!" He held out a hand.

"Er, thank you," Potter answered, at least having the courtesy to shake hands.

"I'd like to see you in Gryffindor, too," Longbottom added to Sirius Black.

"I'm afraid he already has his place reserved in Slytherin," Narcissa Black answered.

Her cousin glared at her. "Ugh! That means being in the same house as _you_."

"Well, all of the houses are great in there own way," Longbottom answered happily. "I'm just a bit partial. I don't doubt you'll do well wherever you're placed. Remus! I didn't see you there, so quiet."

Again, all eyes turned to Remus, who had rather liked being completely ignored. 

"I was looking for you, actually. I wanted to apologize for getting pulled away earlier. I wanted to talk to you, anyway." He took a seat beside the spot Remus had recently vacated. "Do you mind if I join in the party here?" He continued smiling, despite the deadly glares Malfoy and his companions gave him.

"Actually, Longbottom--" Narcissa Black started to say.

"Excellent! Oh, Remus, is this your book?" He bent down to pick up the Transfiguration book. "Studying already? That's Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff, I'd say. Not that Gryffindors don't study, of course. Well, we'll see at the Sorting, won't we?"

Remus nodded vaguely. 

"You'll want to watch Professor McGonagall," Longbottom continued. "She's the Transfiguration teacher and Head of Gryffindor House. She's also very strict. A good teacher, but very strict. But she's also fair, wouldn't you say, Lucius?"

Malfoy didn't answer immediately, as he fixed Longbottom with a glare that should have killed him on the spot, or at least set him on fire. After a moment, though, his glare lessened just slightly, and he spoke. "I'm afraid I don't have time to talk. Narcissa and I were just about to leave."

Longbottom's face fell. "Oh. I'm so sorry to hear that. Can't you stay just a bit? We can tell these three all about the school and the classes."

"As positively _thrilling_ as that sounds, we must decline," Malfoy answered.

"What a shame. All right, then." His face lit up again. "I'll see you at the school, then."

Malfoy and Narcissa Black looked as though the very idea made them sick. They glared at the three first years, Narcissa Black glaring mostly at her cousin.

The moment they'd gone, Longbottom gave a great sigh, and his smile fell away.

"Those three are a nasty lot."

"Four," all three boys corrected at once. 

"Three," Longbottom answered. "Didn't you know? Crabbe and Goyle share a brain."

Black and Potter looked at Longbottom, then at each other before laughing. 

"I'm Frank Longbottom, by the way." He held out a hand, which the other two now gladly shook. "I figured there was trouble when I saw Crabbe and Goyle in this compartment."

"That was all just an act, then?" Potter asked.

"The odds didn't look good. Wait a few years until you threaten Malfoy and his girlfriend with wands. What happened, anyway?"

Potter shrugged, looking at Remus, who also shrugged.

"I came in here to avoid them," Black said. "He was a asleep," he nodded toward Remus, "so I didn't think anyone would mind. They found me, anyway."

Potter examined the other boy a moment. "So you're a Black."

Black bristled at this. "Yeah, so what?"

"Never thought there was a Black that didn't want to be in Slytherin."

"Of course I want to be in Slytherin! It's the noblest house there. I just don't like having to share a house with _her_."

"Oh. My mistake, then."

"Well, we all know where _you're_ going to go. Home of the brave and stupid."

"Hey! I--"

"You do understand," said Longbottom quietly, "that I _am a Prefect and can deal out detentions as I see fit."_

Black and Potter fell silent, glaring at each other. After a moment, Black looked at Longbottom.

"Did you really know Andromeda?"

"Of course. I heard she married a Muggle."

Black invited himself to sit down opposite Longbottom. Potter glared at him, but seemed to think better of arguing.

"Yeah. It got her kicked out of the family. Bloody bunch of frog spawn sucking toads."

"Wait, she got kicked out of the family because of who she married?" Potter asked, sitting as far away from Black as possible.

Remus resumed his seat silently, glad to have returned to the background.

Black frowned at him. "Well, it's not much of a surprise. I mean, Tonks _is_ a Muggleborn."

"So?" Potter asked, phrasing exactly the question on Remus's mind.

"And I suppose _you_ wouldn't be disowned for marrying a Muggle? Either of you?" Black looked between Potter and Longbottom, ignoring Remus.

Potter shook his head. "No."

"Nor would I. My Aunt Mildred is a Muggle," said Longbottom.

Black cocked his head, his frown turning from annoyance to confusion. "Really? But you're both from old families. What about the bloodline?"

"Well, it's not going to get better with inbreeding, is it?" Longbottom asked. "Find a nice girl, Pureblood, halfblood, Muggleborn, or all Muggle, fall in love, maybe get married later on. Then send the kids on to Hogwarts, and it all starts again." Longbottom paused, thinking, before amending, "Unless they don't have magic. But then they go to a Muggle school."

"You can't be serious!" Black said, his eyes wide. "You'd keep a kid that has no magic?"

The compartment went very quiet after this, everyone staring at Black. Remus felt less horror than was mirrored on Longbottom and Potter's faces, but the question still surprised him a bit. What would the Blacks do with a nonmagical child? Kill it? Disown it? And how long would it take them to determine that it had no magic? When it didn't get a Hogwarts letter? What did a family do with an eleven-year-old child? There were far worse things a child could do to earn his parents' scorn. Having no magic seemed like a small infraction, something that couldn't be helped, anyway. There were far worse things to be than a squib.

"You have one screwed up family," Potter said into the silence.

"My cousins' half of the family certainly is," Black growled before Longbottom to say anything. Then he turned to Remus. "What about you? What's your name? Are you pureblood? Halfblood?"

So he hadn't been forgotten. Bother.

"Remus Lupin, and neither, really. My father was pureblood, but my mother is halfblood."

"Like it really makes a difference," Potter answered with a roll of his eyes. 

"I was just curious. He said he wasn't a Mudblood."

This earned Black three very stern glares.

He lifted his eyebrows. "Muggleborn. You happy?"

"You got something against Muggleborns?" Potter asked.

"You got something against Blacks?"

Potter rolled his eyes. "Aren't we getting there soon?"

"Probably," said Longbottom. He glanced at Remus and Potter. "You two should get into your uniforms."

Black already wore his.

"Will you two keep from killing each other if I leave now?" Longbottom asked.

"I don't see why he's still here at all," Potter answered. "This isn't _his compartment."_

"If I'd known it was yours I wouldn't have come in to begin with," Black answered.

"I'll take that as a no," Longbottom said as he crossed his arms.

Black crossed his arms, too. "I'm not leaving. I don't need to get caught by Narcissa again. She'll be prowling about all year, making sure I don't do anything _disgraceful."_

"Like talk to the likes of us?" Potter asked.

Black nodded. "Yeah, exactly like that. The only thing more disgraceful that I could do is get into Hufflepuff."

"Not Gryffindor?"

"That's not _quite_ as bad. It's just far from good. The occasional Black does go through Gryffindor."

"More go to Ravenclaw," Longbottom said. "Like Andromeda."

Black nodded. "Ravenclaw would definitely be better. Then I wouldn't have to be in Narcissa's house."

"Well, you're certainly not smart enough for Ravenclaw, but I'm sure you'd make a wonderful Slytherin," Potter said.

Longbottom seemed to have given up on keeping the two from going after each other verbally and had settled for just keeping them from killing each other, as evidenced by the covert drawing of his wand.

"Well of _course_ I'd make a wonderful Slytherin," Black answered, lifting his chin into the air. "It _is_ the noblest, purest house."

"If pureblooded maniacs addled by inbreeding is your thing, yes, Slytherin is quite noble," Potter said.

Black stood, wand in hand, but Longbottom was between the two boys in a flash of black robes.

"Put it away," he said, his wand raised.

Black glared at him, then at Potter, but had the sense to listen. He pocketed his wand, crossed his arms, and flopped back onto the bench. "I'm _not leaving."_

"Stubborn git," Potter muttered.

"That's enough out of you," Longbottom said.

"_I'm not the one hiding from my big, scary cousin with a Prefect."_

Remus cursed the fact that the other three students stood or sat between him and the door.

"What the hell is your problem, Potter? What'd I ever do to you?"

"You came in here and brought a bunch of your kind in here with you."

Black was on his feet again. "They're _not_ my kind!"

Potter stood, too, but Longbottom pushed him back into his seat. The Prefect then grabbed Black by the back of his robes and dragged him bodily from the compartment. He turned in the doorway and fixed Potter with a glare.

"Get changed now or you'll have a detention before we even get to the school. And if you so much as say a word to Mr. Black when we return, you won't have a free night or attend a Quidditch match till Christmas." He looked at Black, who had started to smirk. "That applies to you, too. Now out."

The door slammed shut.

Potter glared at it. "As if he could."

Remus didn't answer. He stood and got his uniform from his trunk. He didn't particularly fancy having to change with Potter there, but he felt that he had little choice. He already wore his school shirt, but had favored the thicker jeans with the lack of a cloak during the morning rain. 

The two boys turned their backs on each other, Potter muttering darkly all the while, and made the change as quick and possible. Remus was just fastening his cloak when Longbottom and Black returned. The other two first years (Remus still thought Black looked more like a second or third year, being taller than most eleven-year-olds) glared at each other, but remained silent under the Prefect's close watch. 

Remus's stomach lurched as he realized the train had begun to slow down. They were almost there! They were really almost to Hogwarts. He stared out the window, forgetting about the other three in the compartment as a swirling mixture of fear and exhilaration filled him. All of his worries came crashing back.

He nearly yelped aloud when the train finally came to a halt. Longbottom left at once, wishing them luck on the Sorting and darting out before any of them could ask questions about that. The three looked at each other, Black and Potter forgetting their animosity for just a moment, before leaving the train for Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry.


End file.
